Goals – One Step at a Time, One Bite at a Time

Subtle Messages, Monumental Impact

The other day while pumping gas at the Rudy’s BBQ, I heard  a country music song that made me do a gut check.  I still can’t figure out who the artist is, but whoever he was, was crooning out a message I never want to be true for my life.  It made me feel so sad for him, (yes, I know they’re just lyrics!), but sad, nonetheless.  The message was bad enough, but the fact that he seemed to feel so proud that, “every once in a while, I do something right” was worse!  The main line in the song, was “every once in a while….I do something right.”  That seemed to motivate him enough to stick around and wait patiently for the next “every once in a while”.  Not so for me!  No way.

Shame on me (and on you too) if I adopt that way of thinking!  Not for myself and certainly not for those I love.  Who wants to hang around like some tail wagging dog, hoping for someone to throw them a bone every once in a while?  Are you kidding me?!

Shouldn’t there be a subtle change with a monumental difference?  Shouldn’t it be flipped upside down?!  How ‘bout: “Every once in a while, I do something wrong?”  Now that I can live with.Word of Advice: Linger not in the presence of someone who thinks that’s ok!

The Best Advice I’ve Ever Gotten On Raising Teenagers

I got the best advice I’ve ever gotten on raising teenagers the other day.  I’ve read lots and lots of books with lots of good advice from many leading professionals in this area.  (The very best one: Running the Rapids, by Kevin Leman). But, the most succinct summary of all came from a middle aged cowboy with no agenda at all.  This 6’3”,  no nonsense, strait talking, cowboy was literally teaching me how to move a 2000 pound horse with a gentle touch of a finger, (thumb actually).  In my therapeutic riding volunteer position with ManeGait, he told me that most people try, with great frustration to move the horse, many times their size by pushing as hard as they dare.  The trick, he said, is to place your thumb very gently near the flank area, and apply pressure.  “I always say”, he told me, “to apply as little pressure as possible, but as much pressure as necessary.”  He winked at me a few days later, as I magically moved an enormous horse named Shades, to a position for tacking, for several frustrated volunteers who asked in amazement, “how’d you do that?!”

I knew as soon as he told me this, that there was other underlying wisdom to be gleaned.   It wasn’t until I came home to my 15 year old son later that day, who was procrastinating over several major personal and parental projects that I realized what that was.

I think it’s brilliant!  And I’m immediately incorporating this into my parenting tool kit!

The Eye of the Tiger

I’ve heard that song so many times, but it wasn’t until my son went retro, and I dialed it into his iphone and blared it in my car that I made the powerful connection to the deep meaning.

While watching the Winter Olympics in Calgary Canada this winter, the announcer for the half pipe event explained that when you’re face to face with your absolute last chance, and it’s either do or die, you gotta “tap into the eye of the tiger!” The Flying Tomato, Shaun White, did just that on his last run on the half pipe, and walked away with Gold and a top and center position on the platform.  Everyone was amazed after his nasty spill an hour earlier on his Double Mctwist 1260.  I don’t know what he told himself, but it must have gone something like this, “ uh huh! Not after all I’ve done for this moment!”  He REFUSED to accept defeat.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is tapping into the eye of the tiger.

It’s a mindset, not something you do everyday.  Only when the stakes are high and you can feel it in your bone marrow!

Don’t give up!

Go the distance.

Finish what you set out to do.

Tap in to the Eye of the Tiger!

Windows

Today seems to be all about windows for some reason. My kids and I were listening to Maniac McGee as we drove into school today. One of the lines in it was “how good it is to have a window to look out of”.

Later, as I started to fold my kids uniforms for school this week, I decided the room needed some natural spring sunlight. So I opened the blinds and let it poor in! Oh to have that window in my laundry room!

As I came back to my desk I looked over and saw the beautiful hand carved house plague with a big window and the words “look out every window” etched along the top, a cherished gift from the great Pella Windows corporation, one of America’s top 10 companies to work for award winners.

Then I sent an email to a very smart, motivated, dreamer-turned-business owner friend of mine, who just moved from a hotel she lived in while getting her new home! I’m fully convinced she’s delighted with her very own window to look out of.

Perhaps it’s freedom, perhaps it’s your very own place to be, or perhaps it’s the window of opportunity that’s pounding me today. Either way, I’m going to pause and be thankful for windows today.

How ‘bout you? Is there a window of opportunity being opened for you today?

Look out Every Window

Saying Good-Bye to Ellie (or Dr. Elanore Rosenfield as many knew her)

Well, I just attended my first virtual Memorial service being held in Rochester, New York.    For the past two hours, I have been sitting at my computer celebrating the life of a dear friend with a few hundred people, plus those around the country like myself watching via streamed in video.  This was rare not only because I was watching it via live video, but also because I was literally “watching” it in sign language.  It was spoken, signed, and captioned.  I chose to experience it through sign.

This was all certainly unique from most funeral/memorial services I’ve attended in the past.  But then again, so was Ellie.  Unique that is.

There were two take- aways I have from today, along with the shear joy and privilege that was mine for having been her house mate.  (I moved into her home while completing an internship for my Master’s degree).

First, the “ginormous” impact she had on people.  She knew her purpose very well in life and lived it out daily.  It was to make others better.  To pull out their best and show them so they could see it for themselves and then impact the world for good.  She was brilliant at it.  She was intentional about it.  She existed for it.

Second, everyone around her believed that they were the most important one to her.  She had an uncanny way of making you be your best self.  She knew how to love.  She knew how to make you feel especially loved.  That’s why I found myself marveling at how many people thought THEY were her special one!  That’s the true mark of a great mom and a great friend.

There were other lessons I learned along the way from my dear Ellie.  But, these are two I’ll ponder today and for time to come:

What impact am I having on others on a daily basis?  And how conscious am I of it?

I want to live my purpose consciously! But, let it be so natural no one notices that it’s

from this very conscious level.

How important do I make people feel?  Are they better for knowing me?

I’ll take that memorial…….”I was better for having known her!”

Oh, let me live so that I’m worthy of those seven words.

What about you?

Red Light Days – Greet Light Days

Karl-Max-Allee, Berlin

Some days are red light days, some days are green light days.

Last week was a red light day! Red light days are days where NOTHING you do seems to go your way! You hit every red light, just as it turns! Your computer goes on vacation without notice, the customer service rep puts you on hold while he goes to lunch, your car is on empty when you pull out of the garage…….late already, your kids need money for something at school…..just after you made a note to yourself that you’ve got to stop and get some cash some time today!, and someone important calls who reeeally needs you for something legitimate, all while you’re desperately trying to accomplish something, anything!! on your agenda! That was just a short list of my day last week.

Fast forward a day. Thank Heaven for green light days! Green light days are those days when EVERYTHING you do seems to go your way! Seriously you hit every green light, just before it turns yellow! Lucky! Your mouse and computer are suddenly best friends: click – done!, the customer service rep acts like you’re very own genie in a bottle, you gas tank is on full…….alllll day, your wallet is fat! like IT should be the one on the diet! (ok, that one may be a bit of an exaggeration), the only calls you get are to thank you for your great service, and you’ve just worked your way through your entire agenda…..and it’s only 3:00! Did I mention, you pull into a parking lot with a gazillion cars and no spaces, except the one empty one up close front and center. That was my day the very next day!

My point here: When things aren’t going your way………which they sometimes don’t! just hang in there a day or two and they’ll turn around! Those frustrating red light days, which tend to stop you in your tracks soon turn to green light days, where you can move forward with no interruptions toward a surprisingly satisfying day.

If you’re having a red light day…….just take a deeeeeep breath and hang it there. Tomorrow’s a new day.

Winning Gold

I find inspiration in people and things all around us.  Inspiration is what I’m fueled by, what moves me, and what I’m driven to share with you.  Summed up, it is my life’s purpose: to inspire.

Hannah Kearney became my latest gift of inspiration.  Hannah was the first American Gold Medalist at the XXI Winter Olympics in Vancouver!  (The very same place where I learned to ski!)

During a brief victory interview, Hannah gave us 3 tips to tuck away for that inspirational “rainy” day:

1. Know your purpose.  Make sure you’re crystal clear on why you’re here.  She says as she was sitting on the chair waiting to take on the slopes, she told herself, “This is it, this is why I’m here!”    Oh she knew her  purpose alright!
2. “Enjoy it!”  To me that means: Take it all in, Savor this moment!, Lock it in, This is what you’ll remember….
3. “Have Fun!”  Again, to me, this is slightly different from  #2.  Have fun! says: Let it all go!, Laugh, Forget everything else, Take advantage of the rare opportunity to find complete delight!

It goes unsaid that this is a result of hard work, (work that  you love to do).

Know your Purpose, Become a Master at it,  have Fun, and Enjoy!

Thanks for the reminder Hannah.

Meet the Newest Member of Our Family!

Birthdays

Who’s too old to celebrate birthdays?  Not me, and certainly not you.  I celebrated my birthday this week, and I do mean celebrated.  I had birthday cake in bed at 6:30 a.m., a Josh Grobin quality birthday song from the man who handed me a diet coke at McDonalds, a gigantic glitter pink hand painted tri-fold board birthday card from my daughter with words from a magazine all over it, a long lingering lunch with friends, (whom I “invited” to invite me), a browse in the book store (one of my favorite things to do), and just did the day my way!  What other day is it “all about you?!”  Don’t miss your chance.  Make your day special.  I say:

NEVER, EVER, EVER

choose not to celebrate your birthday!  However you want.  You can go back to being “everything for everyone else” for the next 364 days that follow.

Plan it.  Be intentional!

CELEBRATE!!!